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2003 Journal Links

Oct 26th - Archie is born
Oct 31st - Today, Archie is five days old
Nov 1st - We called the NICU at 3 a.m.
Nov 3rd - Archie's billirubin is down
Nov 4th - Today was Archie's due date
Nov 6th - Yesterday was the most trying day of our lives
Nov 9th - I think we knew that something
Nov 11th - Good day, bad day
Nov 13th - Archie looked great this morning
Nov 16th - If prayers were audible...
Nov 18th - I got to hold my son today
Nov 19th - John is back working again
Nov 20th - Archie slept all day
Nov 22th - I think I know what it’s like to be deaf
Nov 24th - Archie decided to stop fighting the ventilator
Nov 27th - Thanksgiving At the NICU
Nov 28th - John held Archie tonight
Nov 30th - If Archie doesn’t like something, he let’s you know
Dec 3rd - Archie will go for his first plane ride
Dec 5th - Tomorrow Archie will travel to Charleston, to the city where his father was born
Dec 8th - We got up extra early
Dec 10th - Although I spent the entire day at the hospital...
Dec 14th - The doctors attempted to extubate Archie twice
Dec 15th - We’re going to buff ‘em and shine ‘em up
Dec 17th - Santa Claus introduced himself to Archie today
Dec 18th - Archie is doing well
Dec 19th - Archie is continues to do well
Dec 23rd - It is Tuesday morning
Dec 26th - “Are you sure you’re Archie Moore?”

2004 Journal Entries

Jan 4th - John is holding Archie and feeding him his bottle
Jan 11th - We dressed him in a light blue sleeper
Jan 14th - Oh, how I've missed Days of Our Lives
Jan 18th - Patient & Family Satisfaction Improvement Survey
Jan 20th - Archie discovered his hands last weekend
Jan 15th - Babies like this
Jan 29th - Archie Moore is a flirt
Feb 11th - I'm watching Archie study his fist
Feb 23rd - Guess who gained eleven ounces his first week off Portagen?
Mar 2nd - My throat began feeling raw yesterday afternoon
Mar 10th - Tummy Time
Mar 15th - I hate those machines!
Mar 31st - Archie was not interested in his early intervention therapies today
Apr 13th - Well-baby check-up
Apr 21st - Today Archie's world got a little bit bigger
May 7th - It's difficult to write
May 30th - I took Archie to the CDS yesterday
Jun 20th - I know I don't update my journal as frequently as I once did
Jun 29th - We Achie to Budka's
Aug 26th - Archie fights sleep with a fierce tenacity
Sep 12th - Yeah, I know. I need to post more
Oct 26th - Today you are one

 

It is Sunday night and John is holding Archie in the crook of his arm, feeding him his bottle
by Anne Moore
01/04/2004

It is Sunday night and John is holding Archie in the crook of his arm, feeding him his bottle. The baby has been snacking off and on all evening: fifteen cc’s here and thirty-five cc’s there. Earlier today and late last night Archie enjoyed a few huge feeds, announcing his hunger with smacking gums and a whimpering cry. John and I couldn’t be more proud of the quick progress our son has made in learning to drink from a bottle. “I never expected this,” Dr. Atz confided in me early last week when he visited Archie during one of his feedings. The doctor shook his head from side to side, his hands resting on the baby’s crib. “Once again Archie continues to amaze even me.”

My little man graduated from “the unit” to “the floor” last Sunday morning. Nurses Kay and Dan wheeled Archie down the same hall he traveled to surgery, toward an elevator bound for the seventh floor. This time John and I walked behind Archie’s crib smiling and joking with the nurses, our hearts no longer heavy with trepidation as they had been that early morning just one week before.

Archie and I have been living together for the past week. I’ve learned to administer his medicine and he’s lost all of his attachments except for an oxygen tube providing just a whiff of assistance. I wake my baby up in the middle of the night to give him his bottle and each time I do I swear I see my son’s eyes alight with reason. “So parents don’t just visit after all!” I imagine him thinking.

Early each morning Archie and I greet residents eager to comment on the little man’s feeding progress. “So we had a bad day yesterday,” one doctor offered, commenting on the fact that Archie only took 399 cc’s during one 24-hour period rather than the recommended 500 cc’s. She shook her head and looked genuinely disappointed, almost put-out.

I smiled and responded, “Depends on how you want to look at it.” But I what I wanted to offer instead is my newly-revised definition of a bad day. It’s difficult for me to peg a day bad when Archie is doing as well as he is. It seems I’ve lost the perspective of a reality based on the commonplace. I’ve seen too much.

John joined Archie and me again on New Year’s Eve. As the ball fell in Time’s Square, John fed Archie his midnight bottle. I sat by watching, grateful for the moment. Last New Year’s Eve John and I went to bed early, exhausted from unpacking as we had just moved into our new house a week earlier. Before falling asleep, I remember we talked about our dreams for the coming year. I remember we talked about our hope that we’d be fortunate enough to welcome a baby that coming year, our firstborn, the idea of whom we loved desperately even before he was conceived. We had no idea what an extraordinary journey lay ahead of us.

Today Archie is 70 days old. My son has been through more in the last ten weeks than I have been in a lifetime. I think a lot of people would be resentful if they had to walk in my shoes for the past three months. There was a time when I would have been resentful, too. But I don’t feel resentful now. Instead I feel fortunate. Today my baby is alive and growing healthier. Nothing more matters. I can’t wait to see what our future together holds.

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